Jon Strocel.com

I have a feeling he just kept his mouth shut when the verdict was read.

I sing this every morning when I wake up. From some old Soviet show.

So many questions...so many questions...

Well, you told me to put soap in the soap dispenser...

I think I worked on this show, but for sure I wanted that mullet.

LOVELAND, Colo. -- A long-running argument over a favorite McDonald's parking spot has resulted in an assault conviction for a Loveland man.

A Colorado jury on Friday convicted 52-year-old Vernon Brandt of felony third-degree assault for a July 29, 2008 fight with 85-year-old Richard Albers.

On the day of the assault, Albers walked up to Brandt's truck because Brandt was blocking the spot Albers had been using almost every morning for 16 years. Albers tapped on Brandt's door, and Brandt then swung open his truck door, knocking Albers to the ground.

According to The Coloradoan newspaper, a witness testified that Brandt jumped out of his truck, grabbed the elderly man, pulled back his fist and said, "you want to fight, you son of a b-----?"

Prosecutors said the men had argued over the spot before.

The felony third-degree assault charge is more serious than an assault charge because Albers is considered an "at-risk" adult due to his age

Sentencing has not been set.

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I don't know what's worse, the fight, or the fact the guy has been eating Egg McMuffins every morning for the past 16 years.

Now Wesley can't jump either.

Still get the chills from the old NBA on NBC intro

And no, he's not wearing pants.